Next Decayed, like it. The most important decaying in our life.
Read the 'Flat Mind' article. The article talks about the 'brain'. But if one believes in the 'mind' or even believes in 'consciousness' this means we have another perception of how to understand or make sense of ourselves.
Reading for me is not unlike looking.
I'm reading/looking not to make sense what I've read / the world out there. I'm reading / looking to make sense of stuff for my self.
I ask my self, nearly everyday, why?
I never definitively know why I believe in anything - out there. So back to self. Back to my body. This is all I have to 'really' believe in. This is a deep knowing in my being.
To try to get some sense of this 'knowing' I take my self back to before I was born, this embryonic period in my life, which I seem to know nothing about, but have a feeling for.
My imperceptible feelings are my 'ground'. This 'ground' I can imagine as a landscape of my consciousness - rocky, misty, light, dark.
I imagine my perception being this ground, this landscape of consciousness - the mulch, being the 'decay' - from which things can form / grow from.
This is about the 'being' of being human.
Quiet often when I read stuff or see stuff through mainstream media I'm getting a sense that most of it is referencing our 'being' as 'human'.
I'm interested in my / our being.
Being able. Being alive.
To be is just to be. No me.
This moment of 'no me' is a moment, an awareness that lingers. A nothing. I look up from the words. I look out from my inner landscape of consciousness, and see, not this or that, but everything, I'm immersed. For a moment. Another shift in consciousness and I'm back to the words, and trying to write some thing that makes sense through this human system of language, these signs and symbols encoded. A human sense.
For most of the day I'm not writing or reading or watching a screen, I'm 'just' being.