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Tuesday 20 November 2018

London, seemingly so big, yet so small. The cafe I visited yesterday evening so far away, yet just around the corner. I look at this table, but can never see the whole. Reflections, conceptions, perception.

Yesterday I took some more things to a charity shop. I cycled over to West End Lane. The bike is old now, but light, a 531 Reynolds frame.

Still sorting, sifting through stuff, trying to think another way about that, rather than 'may be useful for another day'. These other days rarely arrive for the things I hold on to.

I walked after food yesterday evening, raining, windy, cold, I decided to shelter in the Nero cafe, a different ambience. I found a spot, wrote 're-writing', thought I could just riff off a previous notebook. I write 'practice of being', and continue with a thought about 'accumulation', which relates to the stuff I've collected over my life, going back to a cable car, a funicular railway, a word I would confuse with articulate as a kid, I would try to call it a 'articular' railway. Another word was 'another', which I confused with 'Anthony'. Later I would begin to understand the word 'confusion' when I was learning about photography, I learnt about 'circles of confusion' which seemed to relate to how I thought about things. Later I came across ontology, and phenomenology and then back to perception. So many words riffing off photography. Later in the page of cafe writing the word 'resonating' pops up, I write a 'tension between object and quality'. I think for a moment about the way I look at things; the outlines, silhouettes, shadows, and shapes, and so on, these (photographic) qualities, never quite seeing things in themselves - a sort of knowing without knowledge.

This morning I find my self gazing at the cafe table top, a hint of understanding crosses my mind. I look at the table, but see reflections, light shadow, an edge, an outline, a reflection, a colour, these qualities, but the thing I call 'table' is never quite all there, it recedes away as soon as I start looking, this thing that I'm sitting at, with coffee on, and notebook. So many ways of seeing. I learn of the word polysemic, which tends to summarise the nature of a photograph. I'm still wondering about that and the ways of recollecting, and collecting, and letting go.

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