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they/them pronouns

Preferring they/them pronouns isn't synonymous with being nonbinary. After all, pronouns describe one's identity — they don't define it.

The first time I tried to come out, I didn’t. It was around 10 PM on a snowy night in the middle of January. Hours earlier, I’d texted my friend Jerome asking if he was free to go on a walk: “There’s something I need to tell you," I wrote. Considering the weather and the terse nature of my message, Jerome probably figured I had something important to say, or at least something that was important to me. I remember the snowflakes looked like gauzy saucers falling through the orange glow of the New Haven streetlights. We were nearing our third lap of the cemetery when I finally said what I had practiced saying alone under the covers and in front of the bathroom mirror for weeks: “I want to go by different pronouns.” The words hung suspended in a mix of quiet and cold. Jerome nodded encouragingly, so I added, “They/them.” 

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